There's No Way We Descended From Apes. . . Maybe.

So we Went to Zoo Atlanta N not to long agao and were once again witnesses to some strange animal behavior. And it was proof again that we humans are the strangest Animals in the kingdom. It's a good thing we rule the kingdom or we would certainly be made fun of often but the other animals.

Our friends Steven and Kimberly came in town to visit the Zoo Atlanta with us. Steve and I went to the zoo a while back when he was in the marines and we had some strange things happen to us then, but nothing compared to this trip. We will go in order of events.

So it wasnt long after we arrived that we made our way to some tortoise exhibit. Well, the two tortoises we at about a 45 degree angle to one another. One tortoise procedes to move it's head towards the other one head area. About this time i notice a family next to me that consites of a mother (who is showing pregnant) and a father in their late 20's, early 30's, and a toddler named jack in a stroller. Because the Tortoise moved it's head in the mother says to the boy, "look jack, he's telling him a secret." Thats what it looked like. Like one tortoise just telling another tortoise a secret. The the secret sharing tortoise hikes his from "arm" up and over the other tortoises shell. "Look Jack, He's giving him a hug." And sure enough, thats what it looked like. Well, the tortoise then begind to use the hug to pull himself onto the other tortoise. . . mounting. . . her. Finally the Dad chimes in, "Look Jack, that's why you're going to have a little sister."

People are strange, but sometimes we are no match for other primates. The four of us make ourselves comfortable watching the gorilla's for a while. Gorilla's are a special animal. They do absolutely nothing for the longest time. They will bore you silly. But if you watch long enough they will do something that you can't seem to ever get out of your mind. My friend Steven is looking at this one gorilla who is sitting on a branch in a tree and starts to laugh and point my attention to whats going on. "Look, it's scratching it's butthole." That's right, i have differentiated between the butt and the hole because he was going straight for the log flume itself. It was helarious. We laughed. The gorilla, probably Willie B. Jr., deficates in its own hand. Now thats funny. We were waiting for it to throw it at another Gorilla or someone in the crowd. But that would have been too expected. This gorilla takes the pooh log and start to lick it. Thats right, His own pooh, his own mouth, voluntarily. He licks the pooh like a lollipop and then he sucks the entire log. He nibbles on it a little bit. He has completely cleaned and trimmed this pooh. he has made it into the most pristine pooh one would ever see. He had to, because he could not have devoured it completely next if it wasn;t in just the right shape. Out one end, in the other. He then claps his hands and holds them into the prayer position. "Thank you father. . . "

Well, monkeys always bring fun. A short while later we find ourselves looking onto another monkey exhibit. I'm not sure what kind of monkey. It's not important. It was on the other side of some glass from us, but sitting really close to the glass. It couldn't have been more than a few feet away from us and sitting on his butt. The monkey begins to "play" with his genitals. after a few seconds of "diddling" the monkey gets an erection. Another mother that happens to be looking on from where we are looking in says to her child, "It's just like your daddy, honey."

I love Zoo Atlanta. I wish i could go more often.